"Tell Them"

I continue to venture into unabashedly mushy mom-dom by making valentines on my son's behalf. And I seem to have a higher and higher tolerance for cheesiness. Hallmark has these ads on hulu encouraging people to "tell them" on Valentine's Day - they have people saying what they want to hear from their loved ones, like "You're beautiful," "Let's grow old together," and "In sickness and in health." And despite the contrived presentation, I was moved.

Perhaps it's motherhood making my heart all soft and vulnerable, lurching at every sentimental stimulus. Mostly I think it's because this has been a year when we experienced some of these phrases more deeply.

We've learned a little bit about being husband and wife in less-than-perfect health. We each had our turn attending to our (somewhat) bedridden spouse the first weeks after I gave birth and after Ryan got his ACL repaired.  And when Ryan told me that I was beautiful when I felt least so - when I was sleep-starved and still bloated from pregnancy and generally not groomed, it never got old. Taking care of a baby together has brought out our best and our worst, and we've been given  much more to love and appreciate and forgive and accept - such that to commit to growing old together is both more costly and more wonderful.

Ryan and I have decided in our first year of marriage that we won't give each other gifts for Valentine's Day, but it doesn't mean we have to ignore the day entirely. It's still a good day to reflect on relationships, and to give and receive and express love to a spouse, a friend, a mother, a father, a sibling, a child. What lessons of love have you learnt - or learnt a bit better - this year?