Aching for Life

We went to the hospital not knowing I was in labor on April 20, and left the building with the cutest little person (of course we think as such!)  on April 22 - the day we started dating 5 years ago.  And Zeke was born on Grandpa's birthday (April 21)... so many reasons to be sentimental about his birth. You get a one-day old for only one day.  So writes Beth Ann Fennelly to her young pregnant friend. And it's true... Zeke is already 5-days-old today... and each day has passed by like a dream - surreal, surprising, all-encompassing.  You try to look and look and look, wishing you could bottle up the sight and take it out later to savor it once more just a little while later. But even with cameras and camcorders and journals and scrapbooks, the moments continue to pass you by. So you keep looking. What a beautiful little face you have, my boy. Each day he seems to have his eyes open for longer, and his perfect little face gains a degree of roundness. His...

38 Weeks Yesterday we had a doctor's appointment, and found out that our boy's "engaged."  This means he's moved down in my pelvis, and he's getting ready to come out!  I felt this drop last week, and with it, came more frequent mini contractions. So now we are waiting and wondering. He could come tomorrow, he could come in two weeks. Though I am at 38 weeks and it's the right time for Baby to come, I've been asking him to stay in there a little longer, so we can enjoy this time of intense awareness - preparing for what is to come, and savoring the very different life we still have now, enjoying the moments of each day, whether it's a foot massage or a walk in the afternoon sun, basking in the silence of morning or having a quiet dinner at home, engaging in good conversation with friends and each other or getting up and slow dancing to music we've been reading/studying to. Such a precious sort of mindfulness, this waiting.  Brings to mi...

36 Weeks (Full term by tomorrow!) This is my second week of being a housewife but not yet a stay-at-home mom. It suits me surprisingly well to have the quiet to think and reflect. I find myself feeling it it's not so important to freeze a dozen meals and have the "nursery" ready (in fact, it's still more a study than anything), but to take this time to pray and to give thanks. Of course, I may kick myself in a couple of weeks for not having everything perfectly ready... yet right now ticking things off a to-do list doesn't seem right - it seems like reverting to my natural wanting-to-be-in-control ways, an issue that God has been working in my heart all through this pregnancy. Of course it's wise to be prepared, to be informed, but I cannot hope to overcome fears (and how many they are! From labor pain to a lifelong commitment to motherhood!) through being busy, buying stuff, and getting organized. I have to get to the heart of things, and God has been remi...